Yes, you do ask that question as you sit there in the tattered remnants of your family life and relationship that used to be with your parent and wonder what happened.
How did it all come to this?
Alcoholism changes people, my Mom was a wonderful, loving, fun person and the alcohol just takes over and their pursuit of it.
Changes everything.
Read some of the posts in the Friends and Family and, of course, this forum.
Are you in a recovery program, as you mention you are at a strong place - that
is good foundation to build on.
If you want to write the details at some time and many of us have, do so, if and when you are ready as this is the place to do that and helps to get those thoughts out with people who understand exactly what you are going through.