I use to think the alcohol was what made my AH totally selfish and then I read letters he wrote to me while he was in the army the other day (I kept them for 40 yrs.!) we were engaged at the time and I never read anything like it, I was in shock on what an jerk he was and Narcissistic. I was so young my mind must have been in some cloud. It's who they are not what they drink.