After his latest "relapse" I was being distant the next day. He asked me what was wrong. I said, "If you can't remember then it isn't even worth the energy for me to talk about." He asked if I was mad because he was drinking. I told him that it upset me and that because he kept waking me up all night (trying to drunk talk to me, playing music, etc.) I had to work a 13 hour shift at work on 2 hours of sleep and I was tired and emotionally drained. He actually said to me, "Well what about me?? How do you think I feel?"...
Seriously??! I guess it really is all about them. Thats the moment I decided it's going to be all about me! I'm attending my first al-anon meeting tonight and I set some firm boundaries that he agreed to. I made sure I explained the consequences of violating those boundaries are not punishment, but of my need to survive.
Bottom line...to them, it is all about them. They can't help it.