She is going to be 6.
I'm enabling him by letting him drop her off at night during his visitation period, and stopping what I'm doing to go pick her up whenever he requests it. Once I was 4 hours away at the zoo and I left immediately to go pick her up because he was screaming at me to do so and then after we left the PI got him leaving his house and going to pick up beer.
So, this 'casual' stuff works well, then? He has a way of turning anything I say around and using it against me.