I am on my second marriage... I had a conversation once with my minister about whether or not I was "living in sin" or if I had been forgiven. My minister was Very understanding and told me that as long as I asked to be forgiven and if I repented for my wrongs and meant it from my heart that the Lord would hear me and forgive me. That gave me comfort. I would suggest maybe talking with another minister or even visiting other churches....Personally I think your realationship with God is what you make it. I grew up going to church everytime the doors where open my dad was actually a deacon. As a adult I chose not to go to church and I still had a strong bond with God (though it was Much Stronger when I went back to church...
I'm not sure what your belief's are but mine are that if you repent and ask forgiveness you will receive it.."Ask and it shall be given to you, seek, and you will find......."(Matthew 7:7-8)
I'm not sure any of this helps but I know something that will....Prayer..