every aspect of my life wrong???????

Old 08-19-2004, 09:56 AM
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Gracey
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every aspect of my life wrong???????

I have been going to church for over three months on Monday's and Wednesdays.......This was like a church my husband grew up in......I was always stubborn and wouldnt go there, because i was raised differently....

After everything that we have been through as a couple, I was willing to try anything that was of a positive nature to regain or salvage what we could of our marriage.....I found that I really like his church and I really like the minister alot.....his sermons have been quite uplifting and inspirational.......the last couple of weeks I have been talking with my husband about getting baptized.......I told my husband that I was ready to give my life to God and that was before last Sundays service..

When we went to Church that following Sunday, I always fill out the attendance card......(Guests) and I also put a prayer request in for my father-in-law and so I gave it to my husband to look over.....I didnt pay much attention to what he was doing after that I was listening to the sermon........I guess he flipped the card over and checked off that he was interested in baptism.......

Minister came up to me last night and was discussing with me the attendance card and how I am interested in baptism.....of course I looked baffled and somehow things became a whirl wind and I ended up agreeing that I would step forward this Wednesday and get baptized.........after the minister went away I looked at my husband and I said to him why did you do that to me........he explained that he didnt know that the minister would come up to me tonight and ask me to get baptized..........I told my husband okay, fine.........but did he also know that you are not baptized and that you are not a member of this church tooo........My husband told me that the minister must have assumed that he was already a member and that is why he was directing the converstion toward me........

I have been talking alot about it with my husband, but I told my husband that I wanted to be sure first and I would like to have a meeting with the minister and get some questions answered......so my husband told me he would go fix this for me and tell the minister I wasnt ready tonight......I was having a very hard time after all that had happened focusing on the sermon........(it was bible study on Wednesday and the minister doesnt teach that night it is usually a Elder) but I was having a hard time concentrating and I decided to get up and leave.........I needed to go for a walk or go to the bathroom.......anything........(In my mind this was the last thing I wanted pressure for......I wanted this to be a decision based on what I wanted and believed in) somehow that all was screwed up..............

Anyway, as I left the main area and went into the hallway.......guess who was out there.....the minister talking to a different elder.........he came up to me and started to ask me questions.........I then perceded that to tell him that I would like to set up an appointment with him for myself and my husband since neither one of us were baptized......he of course says go get your husband right now and we can meet in my office........I did just that

When we were in there in started off by asking if either one of us were married before.........I of course said yes.......(my husband first marriage) he was telling me that the only way I was excused in God's eyes from getting a divorce from my first husband was cheating, abandoment from the marriage.........bla bla bla......he asked me if my husband cheated and I said yes.........(cause he did)....he then said then in the bible God okay's divorce in those circumstances........the minister said that if I wouldnt have left him for the reasons that God has said, that I would have to leave my husband now, because everyday I was committing adultry...........If I would have left for the wrong reasons it wouldnt have been a spiritual marriage with my husband now and that we would need to seperate.........and according to the bible I would never be able to remarry again...... WOW

Since my first husband did cheat.......It was okay.........but I didnt tell the minister my whole life story lastnight in the 45 minutes we were in there talking to him..........I made alot of horrible mistakes with my first husband........he was not all wrong and I may have cheated on him first.........I dont know........my first husband went to strip clubs and watched porn all the time......but we ended up divorced anyway..........and I cant say who did what to who worse.........If anything I may have been worse...........

My question is in God's eyes is my second marriage a second marriage in God's eyes or am I daily committing adultry with my husband???????? Am I ever going to be right in Gods eyes............
 
Old 08-19-2004, 10:30 AM
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Ask God for forgivness, and He shall give it to you. Live your life in order to make HIM proud from here on out, He does forgive us of our sins. He gave His only son so that we could sin. Ask and you shall recieve.

I hope your heart settles soon! You establish your relationship with God on your terms (and His) and leave the rest. Take what you want and leave the rest. I'm very spiritual, but I don't go to church. My church is being among the tress and the birds and the flowers, that's where I feel closest to God. God doesn't care HOW you do, so long as you DO do it!

Good luck on your journey, you'll be in my prayers!

Serenity to all,
HopeSprings
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Old 08-19-2004, 10:36 AM
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(((((Breec))))))
I believe that God is forgiving. He will forgive us if we truly wish to be forgiven. You will be right in God's eyes if you wish to be.

What follows is entirely my opinion - I listen to what others say to me, think about it and develop my own feelings on a matter. I trust myself to know what is right for me. Other people may believe they know what's right for me but they don't always. I can't doubt everything I believe just because someone else tells me I am wrong.

You know in your heart what is best for you. You know your own relationship with God. Other people have opinions but that doesn't mean that they are always right. Of course, maybe I'M not right but you can decide that for yourself.
Hugs - L
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Old 08-19-2004, 10:57 AM
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breec,
I don't know what religion you are referring to, and only someone of that faith can answer the questions you are asking. Al-Anon has taught me to find my own relationship with God. I can find it through whatever means I feel I need, whether it be religion, spirituality, or through my own heart.What no one can dictate is what kind of relationship I will have with God. If you choose to follow a religion, then you will find your answers there, but no one but you can decide if that is the right path for you. Twelve step programs don't answer religious questions. Those are outside issues that each person must deal with in their own way. The 12 steps only ask that you find a relationship with God, not what kind of relationship that is going to be. Look in you heart and ask yourself if this religion is right for you. If it is, then you have your answer. Hugs, Magic
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Old 08-19-2004, 11:21 AM
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I am on my second marriage... I had a conversation once with my minister about whether or not I was "living in sin" or if I had been forgiven. My minister was Very understanding and told me that as long as I asked to be forgiven and if I repented for my wrongs and meant it from my heart that the Lord would hear me and forgive me. That gave me comfort. I would suggest maybe talking with another minister or even visiting other churches....Personally I think your realationship with God is what you make it. I grew up going to church everytime the doors where open my dad was actually a deacon. As a adult I chose not to go to church and I still had a strong bond with God (though it was Much Stronger when I went back to church... I'm not sure what your belief's are but mine are that if you repent and ask forgiveness you will receive it.."Ask and it shall be given to you, seek, and you will find......."(Matthew 7:7-8)
I'm not sure any of this helps but I know something that will....Prayer..
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