How old is your daughter? Is she old enough to recognize if dad isn't "right" and come home?
How is your communication with him "enabling" his drinking? If you are able to communicate civilly, I think I'd be inclined to keep doing it. You can minimize chitchat just by being very busy.
As far as the party goes, I'd just say you prefer to do something with her on your own ("girl stuff") and let him make whatever plans he wants to make. It doesn't have to be a big to-do, just mention it casually.
It kinda sounds to me like you are over-complicating it.