We all seem to have a trigger. Working on your marriage would be best done probably sober. You need to work on what makes you happy and how you can work on moving or not moving past what he has done. That's a tough call, I haven't been in your situation but I know that working on myself is the most important thing. We can't control others and their actions. Be there for your children. The wonderful thing about them is how resiliant they are.
Hang in there and stay strong today - find a new routine and take the kids out for a walk, or find some new games or puzzles. I know that is a hard age! I'm here for you as are many others on this site. There are some strong people here. They have great advice.
