lmgirl - that is the tough question I have been dealing with and failing for quite a while. But something is different about me this time. I got really sick on Monday night and I'm sure acted like an idiot in front of neighbors for the 4th. I missed work on Tuesday which has never happened and I was mortified. So maybe that is making this Friday easier. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I tried to "just drink on weekends" or "only when we go out" it always ended up that I would grab a bottle on a wednesday because I had a good day or just one more on a Sunday night. It turned into 5-6 double shots of vodka with lemonade and crying in the middle of the night.
Friday night is tough, I'm not going to lie. But as everyone has told me - change your routine. Its hard with little ones like we have. I waited so long to have kiddos I thought all my demons were gone. But as mothers today we are juggling everything and it seems overwhelming. I wasn't prepared for how tough motherhood can be and I copped out. Now I see how I have acted in front of my kids and I'm mortified and sad. I would drive to the liquor store with them in the car just so mommy can get her vodka. How crappy is that.
All I can do is move forward from here and try to be the best mom.Those awful thoughts are hopefully what will get me through this Friday. Stay online with me this weekend as you need to and we can get through the "witching hour" together. You can do this!