Originally Posted by
salamand 
I'd do anything to help him out, but there is nothing apparently that I can do except either decide to stay or leave. Accepting him as he is makes sense. I could live with it unless it gets worse. Spoke to him point blank yesterday, instead of saying "I know it's none of my business, but..." I just said, do you think you can quit or not? He said if it would make me happy he would. Never said that before, so I'm taking it as a very good sign, but will wait for time to tell. Don't have the nerve to call of the wedding unless he'd said he wouldn't try. Actions would be much better than words but I guess only time will tell.
People "in recovery" have what I like to call an impulse to punish - they want to punish the "bad" alcoholics so that they hit their bottom faster and get into recovery - which is why people are telling you to leave now. You don't necessarily need to do that, though, and it won't help either of you.
You can tell him that you will not marry him unless he gives up drinking for good. Zero tolerance. He has two months to prove it, but you could even postpone the wedding. This could provide the necessary wake-up call he needs to reflect on what is happening to him, and to protect you as well. If you really want to make it stick, you can have an attorney draft a pre-nuptual agreement that gives you certain protections (ie, the house, etc) if he goes back to drinking.
In the meantime, get a copy of the book "Under the Influence" by James R. Milam, read it, and make him read it. It will clarify a lot of things, for both of you.
There are various avenues to "recovery", some of which you will not find mentioned on most recovery forums, but feel free to PM me.