I feel everyone has been so eloquent that I don't have much to add that has not already been said.
One thing struck me though, what helped me while I was divorcing, and I read in your posts.
It was the realization of how grateful I was for all the work I had done on myself. Sure I was a mess, and it was hard, but man without my IC and Al-anon work behind me. I read here recently a quote about I am not where I want to be, but thank goodness I am not where I was. Your story reminded me of that.