Originally Posted by
transformyself 
Well there's a fine how do you do. I thought I was just breaking free of my own abandonment crap. But noooo. I still want to maintain the power struggle.
FWIW, I wasn't insinuating that you want to maintain the power struggle. Even when I was well and truly DONE playing that game with my AH, he still continued to play. He knew all my buttons so very well that he could push them at will and I would fall back into my victim role. He tried his very best to keep me dancing with him. And it worked, once in a while. It was such familiar territory to my subconscious emotions. It worked for him for so long, of course he continued to play me.
I was suggesting that maybe playing on your abandonment fears has worked so well for your AH that he is simply doing what has worked for him in the past.
Good for you for recognizing it and not getting caught up in it.
L