Transform, I'm sorry to read all of this. Given all the advice/thoughts you have shared in my thread, I wish I could do the same for you here.
Obviously you are not happy and have worked at this for a long time. It sounds like the love is gone and you have your answer.
I admire how much you are digging deep within yourself to understand and adjust, and I hope to get to that point with myself one day. Again, sorry to hear about your struggles. "Hang in there" would sound dumb, but I can't think of alternative at present.