I guess it's because I love him so much that I don't want to feel like I'm abandoning him? That the lying and everything else is because of his addiction and that it's nothing personal and that if he sorts out his problems then all that stuff will just go away?
Even just typing that looks so stupid and deluded.
Just so confused. Today is a bad day. I think I must rely on him in some way as well because I've been really depressed lately. I don't want to be like this anymore.