It doesn't make you a jealous person to be hurt by unacceptable behavior on the part of your spouse. And in true alcoholic fashion, he managed to deflect the issue of his appalling behavior and turn it into "you're jealous". They really are master manipulators aren't they and no matter how good your radar or how "on the ball" you are with seeing that behavior coming, you're bound to be outwitted by an A bc they are 3 steps ahead in the manipulation dept at all times. This is something my T told me several weeks ago when I was beating myself up for getting involved in a circular conversation with my AH. He told me to stop being myself up first and foremost and told me that the main reason I need to go as NC as possible is bc I will be out-smarted 10 times out of 10 bc of the level of manipulation that is part of day to day existence in active alcoholics.
I'm sorry you had such a miserable time out with him and I am sorry you had to be subjected to the nasty things he said.
It would be wonderful I think if alcoholics could focus their ire and resentment squarely where it belongs; at themselves- rather than trying to destroy everyone around them.
Hope today is a better day...