Kindeyes, I've only just seen your response.
I've never posted on a forum before so I'm unsure how to respond to specific posts.
I know exactly what you're talking about, it is definitely a hard thing to face up to that they won't just get "fixed" or "better". I've looked up things about codependency and so many things I've done in the past are definitely classed as enabling. That's why I'm trying to break that cycle but it's very hard. I'm studying psychology and we've done some modules on drugs and addiction, so I do understand that lots of it is down to changes in his brain chemistry and I've done lots of research on potential risk factors for addiction. It's hard though because no matter how much I try to understand it, there'll always be a part of me that feels like if he wanted to badly enough, he could stop. Or if he loved me enough, this wouldn't be happening. But I know that's a ridiculous way to think about it.
I'm really grateful that everyone here seems so nice, I really really appreciate it xx