Thanks, Suki...you are so right--and that's exactly what I said.
I've just done a little reading about enneagrams--and I came out a 9 ("peacemaker") which of course has a good side, but it also has a bad side--the downside of being a peacemaker is being "self-forgetting." I feel that I have to work harder to fight for myself, even if it feels counter to what I'm comfortable with. So, I'm not putting up with rudeness. Nope, not anymore. So when he baited me with the jealousy stuff, I told him that he behavior was just rude. Left it at that, and that's all I have to say about it.