I have went through some of the same conversations this weekend, the only thing is he says the nasty vile things when we are alone, and then convienently don't remember saying them the next day, I don't know if he honestly don't remember or he just says that cause he realize how horrible he spoke to me. He told me this Friday night he thought we should just divorce, but told other people I said it. but no matter who said it it was just his latest excuse to drink more like he needs one.
I will say that going to Alanon has helped so much because I know it is not my fault and so I go on and do my thing.