For me I "got it" when I finally realized that I will never be able to control my drinking.
When you said "I don't want to say no. It seems like too much work." it reminded me of the something I read the first time I came to this site - it was in a post about "controlling drinking" and one person said:
It's just easier not to drink than to have to stress and work hard at the ultimately futile effort of controlling it. That's just too much work for something that's just not worth it to me.
And boom - a light went on! All these years I have been trying to moderate/control/limit and had so many failures. Of course quitting seemed like it would be harder than that! The concept of it being easier to say no seemed impossible but it really is!
There are lots of people saying similar things all over this board...
Staying sober is easier than moderation, easier than feeling anxious or hungover, easier than going to court for a DUI...
Not sure if trying to control your drinking is something that's bothering you but this is the thread:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-drinking.html