Hey Caligirl,
Please don't take anything he says personally or even seriously. He is an active alcoholic and like everyone else has said, he will say anything, hurtful or otherwise, to keep his attention on his drinking. I know how you are feeling and also experienced the lack of emotion and hurtful jabs when my XABF was actively drinking. It is tough but you really shouldn't let it get to you. I'm not sure if you're new here or not, but the term I'm looking for is QUACK! It sounds like he is a duck just quacking along about other things just to keep his focus on his drinking.