Originally Posted by
tjp613 
NotaHH -- God, I feel your pain! It leaps from the screen! My heart aches for you because I remember what that feels like and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. However, the blessing here is that you are taking some very important steps in your life by coming here to SR, facing reality, gaining acceptance, and saving yourself from what would most likely be a very miserable future. I know it doesn't feel like it, but to us veterans THIS is a cause for celebration. Another life spared!
How do you feel about going No Contact? It's the quickest way to accomplish two things: 1) She feels very swift and painful consequences, and 2) it's the quickest way for you to get through that tunnel of pain and through to the other side.
For the spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, ex's of Alcoholics can anyone tell me if their relationship was the same in the fact that when your significant other went out with you they always went for the drink menu first, made an excuse as to why they needed a drink today, then another, and another, drank the first few drinks down like water in a matter of minutes, treated you lke you were anti social or get upset with you if you didn't drink with them and then sought out friends who drank if you wouldn't practically ignoring you, If you suggested going home they would act as if they didn't hear you or that you were just someone trying to limit their fun and would defer to their friends or the bartender or the person sitting beside them suggesting another round rather than listening to their own significant other's advice? I tried to explain to her that when she became drunk she acted like a single person, as if I didn't exist even though I was right there in front of her. She simply explained that she had anxiety issues with being in public. Well she certainly has tried to work on that "issue" with as much as she goes out but the other major issue is being buried under the carpet.
I guess I ask that question to try and wrestle with my mind that going NC is the better option. I think the more she knows I will be
there for her through anything, which was what I was soon to vow to her, the more she feels she can do this and when she is ready
deal with other things on her own terms, drinking not being one of the things.
I have so many reasons already to go no contact but when you shut everything else out in your world and you focus on one person that was meant to be with you for the rest of your life it's hard to redirect it to something else that seems at the present time to be of little to no importance.