Hello
You will be able to find a sponsor in the meeting you attend who has "worked the steps as quickly as possible and to the best of their ability to get a spiritual awakening to recover from alcoholism"...basically if the person you are talking to understands what that means, agrees with it and has done it then they can show you how to do it yourself...if they haven't stay away from them...this means that you are looking for a smaller percentage of the room in this case but you will find one if you are ready to begin...
As for tough love in AA, sure it comes from people that have worked the steps and recovered because they want you to recover too but you do have the element of people, as i have said, in the rooms that just talk the talk and these are usually the asses who cause more damage than good.
My advice would be to bite the bullet, and i know you aren't going to want to do this, and share at one meeting that you are looking for a sponsor to take you through the steps as i have said above...say that, if you are, willing to do what they say and willing to be honest...you will be herded away to someone who knows how to help you after the meeting.
Hope that helps and good luck:-)