I walked into my first AA meeting nine months ago on Columbus Day morning... when I figured it was time to clean up my act and discover myself. And I've only just begun. I love the tools I learn in the rooms, in SR, and from ALL the amazing people I've met.
I went from drinking ONE BOTTLE A DAY for the past 10 years to NOT drinking one bottle a day.
Er... Uh-hum... mmmmm...
For those of you paying close attention to my words, you may already understand where I'm going here:
I have NOT been completely clean. The fact is -- every two weeks or so, I've have a drink... tho never, EVER a whole bottle.
Deep in my heart it bothers me. Deep DEEP in my heart, I know I must not be fully committed. And not being fully committed means I open myself up to "one drink leading to MORE". BELIEVE ME -- I GET THAT.
All of this is to say, I totally feel the difference in no longer DRINKING AN ENTIRE BOTTLE (which sounds absurd to me in my current state of mind). On the other hand -- I KNOW THAT ONE DRINK IS ONE TOO MANY! (I've witnessed that within my own psyche and hear about that all the time in the rooms...)
I just wanted to put it out there... Anyone have a similar path? Any thoughts?
Sidebar 1: how many GREAT pairs of shoes could I have bought in these past ten years? HOW MANY trips to Italy could I have taken had I not spent the money on WINE...
Sidebar 2: I know I run better and faster -- and definitely think better without...
I just got to be honest -- and thank you for being here to share this with...
