Your first post was confusing to me, first you say that you are not sure love is worth the risk...then, the next paragraph, you are all ready to marry him?????
When you post on others threads you seem to clearly understand this whole codependency thing and constructively help others work through their pain and sadness, then you post for yourself and it doesn't seem to match your responses to others posts.
I am sorry that you can't get a grip on this situation, have you spoken to your therapist about this lingering issue?
Make next week a positive one, try not to dwell on the past, serves no purpose, it's over, cannot be recreated.