Originally Posted by
Charli88 
...She has a lot of insecurities which I have tried to help her with.
... every once in a while she gets agitated and says she wants to go back to drugs ... I always am able to calm her down and talk sense into her.
...Recently she has been having problems with her sponsor. She doesn't want to call her anymore. I have had to convince her to continue with her.
...I don't want to leave her but I feel that maybe I should but am afraid she will go back to drugs if I do.
...I've expressed my concerns with her about me being a possible reason for her going back to drugs but she says that I am a good influence on her and that she hopes she has enough self respect to not drugs...
Charlie,
Her sobriety is her responsibility. As a loving person you can support her in your choices (ie, don't drink around her), but it is
solely her responsibility. "In the rooms" they say that any priority you put ahead of your sobriety you will ultimately lose. Addiction is a jealous mistress, she doesn't play second fiddle to anyone or anything.
Moreover, it seems your gf really is not ready for a relationship. Read the above quotes; does that sound like a 50/50 situation? Wittingly or otherwise, your romantic relationship has adversely affected her program. It is a distraction from the self-work that is required in early sobriety that enables one to have an equal partnership with another. It's not that you are bad, or her, or your relationship, it's just bad timing - the rule of thumb is no dating before one year of sobriety because so many have relapsed when they ignore it.
I would recommend that you end the relationship as lovingly, quickly and cleanly as possible. It won't feel like any of those things when you are doing it, but in the long run you will be doing the best for both of you. After she's got a year of (continuous) sobriety you both can revisit this if you choose. There's plenty of time to do it right, but it will seem like an eternity if you continue with the status quo.
Good luck.