Call it denial... call it a defense mechanism... call it whatever you want - I think the reality is that it's human nature. It's not fun to look deep inside and realize that we are wrong, broken, defective... and I think the more wrong or broken we feel, the harder it is to admit just how bad things are.
Change is HARD. Really hard... and the longer we've had a habit - the harder it is to break it. So whether it's drinking, over-eating, gambling, shopping, enabling... whatever your addiction - you can either face the facts and do the hard work - or look around you for someone who's worse than you so you don't feel so bad and stay stuck in your sickness.
That's been the hardest part about my recovery - is to stop comparing myself (and AH) to others. I have to keep my focus squarely on me and my little world - what do I want it to look like versus what it is... and then keep working towards my goal. I have had to learn patience. I've had to learn to slow down and realize that real, true change takes time and that I need to work on smaller steps and keeping sustained progress. It's hard - recovering from my codependency and enabling.
I can't even imagine how scary it has to be for an alcoholic to have to face their truths - nor do I want to get in my AH's head and figure that out! I have enough work trying to figure myself out!!!!