Galnva,
I struggled a lot with the concept of being the serious and committed parent while he got to be the Disneyland Dad, too. Eventually we got to a place where my sons were able to tell me that they came to look to their support, consistency, help etc. Now that they are older, they have told me that they felt they had balance in their life that way. And they told me that they had fun with me too, just in a different way!
Be gentle and loving to yourself. It sounds like you are a great parent doing a great job!
O59