So many thoughts and so many things I could say while reading this thread. But I will just say.... I am praying for you Pink that someday you will comes to grips with this illness and get the help you need.
It is hard to see someone continue on a path that we know where it will end. And we have suggestions and solutions that can allow you to live a full, healthy, HAPPY life. We just wish you would listen. But unfortunately, we can not do this for you. I pray you take our advice someday.
Pink, you are no different than any of us here. We have all been where you are and know how you feel. Us alcoholics are loving, caring people who only want a good life for you and we all know that if you would just listen to some of the advice given, you would be happy, joyous, and free.... just like so many of us are. We are all here, banging on the door. Just hoping someday you give us a chance to come in.