Originally Posted by magdalenaxx

I saw my Mom today. I usually see her once a week. She drinks a lot. We used to make cocktails or drink wine together. I feel we get along better tipsy. She and my dad both drank a lot my whole life.

If i was sober every other day of the week, you could be sure Id be tipsy before I saw her. Today I am proud that I made it through a visit sober. She'd had some wine and that just made me happier to not be sipping.

I'm surprised that I haven't had any withdrawal symptoms, really. Some anxiety, but I have GAD and even sober usually have SOME anxiety everyday. I'm trying very hard to be grateful that I am stopping now. It won't ever get any easier. After only two and a half years stuff has spiraled down so badly that i can't even begin to comprehend how difficult sobriety would be after 5, 10, 30 years.

I am a masochist and I feel that i really do deserve many, many awful symptoms

It feels so good to hear my voice, to not be afraid to speak in case I sound off, weird, or slurry. It feels good to not have hangover symptoms. It feels good to not have to worry about hiding the vodka pint or mini wine bottles in my purse... to not worry about where to hide for my next sip.

Thanks for listening.