Hey there Putme...
I've been kind of off the radar lately so I missed your post from last week. Sounds to me like you need to take your marriage, put it in a little "god box" and let it sit for a while. Just let it go for today. You don't need to figure it all out tonight, or even tomorrow.
What you do need to do... is get your focus where it belongs - and that's on you and taking care of YOU. Give yourself some space from your AH. If you can't physically get away, at least stop engaging in those conversations that are too raw and damaging right now. I'm not saying that you stay married... I'm saying give yourself some time. Be patient with yourself and more will be revealed.