Remember he is an A. A's lie and manipulate, its their nature, its what they do. Its all part of their denial. If they didn't lie and manipulate then they would start to see themselves as they really are. That is something they are not ready to do until they are ready to recover.
I did have this problem but not as much any more. Basically what I do now is limit my contact with my AW and assume that anything she says is either manipulating or an out an out lie.
I have reached the point where I don't care about "US" or her life or how unfair (long list of names here including mine) is treating her. Her problem not mine. I spend my time focusing on my recovery.
Projection is when they see faults in themselves and then 'project' that fault on to another person. It is another form of denial and another way for them to hide their faults from themselves.
WTBH, I hope this helps. Try not to worry about what they say or write. It is all part of their denial and as such is delusional.
Edit: Part of your healing process is seeing them for what they really are. It is a way of getting rid of your denial that you can't fix their problems and make things right and have a happy ending. You can have the happy ending its just that it yours as a person not yours as a couple.
Your friend,