Hello SR, I've read a few posts here but haven't truly explored.
I have been a heavy drinker and pot smoker for the good part of 5 years, I would like to stop both. I haven't smoked pot in a month now and am so happy with myself, I'm seeing a counselor to deal with this but don't see him as much as I'd like to really. He said that drinking is.. lets say a substitute for pot and I think I believe him. I have huge difficulty making it through even one day without having a few drinks even now. My pot 'addiction' really ruined my head and at the moment it's not functioning like I'd like it to. I constantly feel terrible about myself, very low self worth and self belief in the future, and I don't know what to do about it. Like I said before I have stopped pot and am extremely happy about it, ecstatic even, but I feel like I am using alcohol as a substitute, like my councelor said, it has a similar effect on me.
I don't have to think so much when drinking, and it gives me a similar feeling to when I used to smoke pot. I don't think I'll EVER go back to pot now but I feel that my drinking is a complete cover for truly getting over the pot 'addiction'.
I want to be happy and sober but don't know if my drinking really is a substitute for just the crazy smoking of the last five years or if I 'just like my drink' more than most. I want to stop the drinking too because I feel like even though I've given up the pot I'm not truly addressing the underlying causes of my inability to be sober, or wanting to be sober.
I've just finished third year at university, but will have to repeat the final year because of a breakdown a couple months ago didn't allow me to write my dissertation - at all.
I'm sorry if I don't make much sense but I feel my head has been crippled from such a long constant binge with pot. I can't concentrate for longer than a few minutes, or seconds and just want to feel normal again and am not sure how to get there, especially with the ongoing alcohol addiction. I just don't like being sober but I know deep down I'd love to be sober for good and clear headed.
I have read a few of the terms and conditions of the website and hope I'm not breaching any by making this impulsive post.
Stay strong everyone at SR. I'm with you and support all your efforts. I'd love to be as strong as all the people of whose posts I've written, but I need a little assistance (?) in getting to your amazing stage. I can't wait to be in your sober position. I love you all to bits and I'd love to meet up with anyone here for a drink of coke to discuss our positions. <3 SR. I found this website today and it's already made me cry for joy and hope a few times today.
Best regards, and I'd like to know you all personally because you are all so kind and helpful. Do I have a problem? Have I explained myself well enough in this introduction post?
Thank you for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, and I'm sorry it is so long, I don't know how to explain myself, but it means so much to me if you have made it this far.
-Crazy.
