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Unsure if I have a problem, would like clarification one way or another

Old 06-12-2011, 04:10 PM
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Unsure if I have a problem, would like clarification one way or another

Hello SR, I've read a few posts here but haven't truly explored.

I have been a heavy drinker and pot smoker for the good part of 5 years, I would like to stop both. I haven't smoked pot in a month now and am so happy with myself, I'm seeing a counselor to deal with this but don't see him as much as I'd like to really. He said that drinking is.. lets say a substitute for pot and I think I believe him. I have huge difficulty making it through even one day without having a few drinks even now. My pot 'addiction' really ruined my head and at the moment it's not functioning like I'd like it to. I constantly feel terrible about myself, very low self worth and self belief in the future, and I don't know what to do about it. Like I said before I have stopped pot and am extremely happy about it, ecstatic even, but I feel like I am using alcohol as a substitute, like my councelor said, it has a similar effect on me.

I don't have to think so much when drinking, and it gives me a similar feeling to when I used to smoke pot. I don't think I'll EVER go back to pot now but I feel that my drinking is a complete cover for truly getting over the pot 'addiction'.

I want to be happy and sober but don't know if my drinking really is a substitute for just the crazy smoking of the last five years or if I 'just like my drink' more than most. I want to stop the drinking too because I feel like even though I've given up the pot I'm not truly addressing the underlying causes of my inability to be sober, or wanting to be sober.

I've just finished third year at university, but will have to repeat the final year because of a breakdown a couple months ago didn't allow me to write my dissertation - at all.

I'm sorry if I don't make much sense but I feel my head has been crippled from such a long constant binge with pot. I can't concentrate for longer than a few minutes, or seconds and just want to feel normal again and am not sure how to get there, especially with the ongoing alcohol addiction. I just don't like being sober but I know deep down I'd love to be sober for good and clear headed.

I have read a few of the terms and conditions of the website and hope I'm not breaching any by making this impulsive post.

Stay strong everyone at SR. I'm with you and support all your efforts. I'd love to be as strong as all the people of whose posts I've written, but I need a little assistance (?) in getting to your amazing stage. I can't wait to be in your sober position. I love you all to bits and I'd love to meet up with anyone here for a drink of coke to discuss our positions. <3 SR. I found this website today and it's already made me cry for joy and hope a few times today.

Best regards, and I'd like to know you all personally because you are all so kind and helpful. Do I have a problem? Have I explained myself well enough in this introduction post?

Thank you for reading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, and I'm sorry it is so long, I don't know how to explain myself, but it means so much to me if you have made it this far.

-Crazy.
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Old 06-12-2011, 04:15 PM
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Welcome to SR! You'll find a lot of support here. I suggest you do more reading around the site and also read the "stickie" posts at the top of the forum. You will find a lot of useful information there.
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Old 06-12-2011, 04:20 PM
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Yes alcohol can be a substitute for pot. In my younger days I knew people that smoked a lot of pot in college. They switched to alcohol at the end of college when they wanted to enter the workforce because it was legal.
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Old 06-12-2011, 04:25 PM
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I want to be happy and sober but don't know if my drinking really is a substitute for just the crazy smoking of the last five years or if I 'just like my drink' more than most. I want to stop the drinking too because I feel like even though I've given up the pot I'm not truly addressing the underlying causes of my inability to be sober, or wanting to be sober.

If you want to be sober, does it really matter if the drinking is a substitute for pot? Both are mind-altering substances. If you want to know if you have a drinking problem, why not try an experiment of not drinking for say...30 days, and see if you can do it easily. During that time, don't smoke any pot or take any other mind-altering substances. If you can easily do that, then you might not have an alcohol problem. If you can't, then you'll know that you probably do.
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Old 06-12-2011, 04:29 PM
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Hi Callmecrazy

I don't think you're overeacting in anyway. I was already a binge drinker, but I turned to booze even more when I quit pot.

I destroyed my life as completely on one as I did on the other, so I think you're wise to be looking at this and taking action now

Welcome to SR

D
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Old 06-12-2011, 04:30 PM
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Yes it is very possible for alcohol to be a replacement for pot. If you're addicted to one thing it's very easy to transfer that addiction to something else. You're right in thinking that you're just covering your problems up with something else.
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Old 06-12-2011, 04:53 PM
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Thank you Dee, Zebra, Suki and Cherry for a more than anticipated quick response. It means a lot! Thanks for taking your time to read my story, fragmented as it might be :o.

Zebra, yeah I can imagine people would switch to alcohol instead of pot for the legal reasons, job applications and testings and whatnot, but I didn't stop pot for that reason. My head is in a terrible state at the moment and I'd like to say that because of the pot abuse from college over the last few years. Legal reasons, pfff, I haven't landed in prison (yet) because I've been lucky in dodging cops n whatnot. I can't concentrate at all anymore and it's really affecting my life day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute.. Did you go through a similar situation? My counselor is a recovered pot addict and I really respect his developing a proper career after smoking so much in his past. It gives me an INCREDIBLE amount of perseverance and respect for him that I could end up the same way. At the moment I can't see myself in a similar situation at all. But I'd like to be able to. It would mean a lot to me :P. My head is not in a good place at the moment. I spend a good few hours crying every day just to sooth the negative emotions, then I'd hit the drink ASAP, rinse and repeat. :/

Suki, you know what, I'd love to try that 30 day thing. I do realise that I should probably give that a go, I don't know if I'll be able to do it, because my head rationalises 'somehow' that I don't 'need' to stop for that long, maybe a few drinks a day would just be enough, but therein lies the problem. I find it difficult to rationalise to myself that it's a good idea for me to lay off the drink for an extended amount of time. I haven't quite come to terms that I have a problem with drinking/ smoking (in the past) even though I've failed two university courses and caused a great deal of pain to my family and lost a good deal of great friends over the situation and my girlfriend left me. I know, and you've highlighted it that I should stop for 30 days but I just can't see myself making it at this time. How will I do it? I don't even know now that I want to go 30 days without drinking. That's going to be so haaaard. Thanks for your message though. It helps that I realise I'm not the only one going through this stupid stupid problem. I am meant to be in control of my actions, as a human but some part of me likes the drink and the feeling it gives just too much. :/ Thank you for your reading and response however!!

Dee, thank you so much for affirming that alcohol is a substitute for pot. I sort of realised it before but wasn't willing to accept myself that it really was, but I guess it is. For me, it's just a problem of realising that it's not the desire of pot that made me scontinue it, but the desire to simply not be sober. I rationalized that it was the pot addiction that kept me smoking, but in fact it was the addiction to 'not wanting to be sober in life'. I need to find something that I truly enjoy when being sober, so I won't take these easy escapes and cave myself in on useless pursuits. Life is amazing, it's short yes, but it can be filled with meaningful activities and surrounded by loving people. I want to leave this superficial approach to life and really get to grips with what it means to be happy and human. Thanks for giving me this realisation Dee. I hope we can discuss this further.

Cherry,
I don't know how I will find the true meaning of life, if there even if one but I'd like to see if there's one while remaining sober. I know theres so much more to our life than burying ourselves in drugs and mind-altering substances and I will, WILL try hard to see what there is out there to pursue in life.

Thank you all for your time, I no way expected you all to respond quickly, if at all. It means more than (I thought previously) you know to see there's people out there that have been through a similar situation and I'd like to see where this sober, happy life can go, with it's fantastic opportunities available to us all.

-CrazyXX
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Old 06-12-2011, 04:58 PM
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Hi call me crazy.
Bring sober is not the preferred initial option of most of us, but for various reasons (ie our preferred option was not really working out) we want change in our lives.

Dope and alcohol are not performance enhancing drugs. At the very least you are worried about 'where you are at' and you are behind on your work. The use of alcohol is unlikely to help address these two very important areas of concern.

A sober life is worth pursuing- although I have only visited for short periods.
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Old 06-12-2011, 05:01 PM
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Welcome to the family.
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Old 06-12-2011, 05:10 PM
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Suki, you know what, I'd love to try that 30 day thing. I do realise that I should probably give that a go, I don't know if I'll be able to do it, because my head rationalises 'somehow' that I don't 'need' to stop for that long, maybe a few drinks a day would just be enough, but therein lies the problem. I find it difficult to rationalise to myself that it's a good idea for me to lay off the drink for an extended amount of time. I haven't quite come to terms that I have a problem with drinking/ smoking (in the past) even though I've failed two university courses and caused a great deal of pain to my family and lost a good deal of great friends over the situation and my girlfriend left me. I know, and you've highlighted it that I should stop for 30 days but I just can't see myself making it at this time. How will I do it? I don't even know now that I want to go 30 days without drinking. That's going to be so haaaard. Thanks for your message though. It helps that I realise I'm not the only one going through this stupid stupid problem. I am meant to be in control of my actions, as a human but some part of me likes the drink and the feeling it gives just too much. :/ Thank you for your reading and response however!!

Maybe you don't really want to know the answer? Is that possible? In that one paragraph, you effectively talked yourself out of even trying the experiment. Of course, we cannot know for sure if you have an addiction problem, but you sure are talking like a person who does.

It's okay, we've all been there. None of us wanted to quit drinking either. When the consequences of staying the same become worse than the fear of getting better, that's when changes are made. Hope you'll stick around and do more reading and posting. We're here to support you.
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Old 06-12-2011, 05:11 PM
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Welcome, and I'm so glad you found us.

I think you realize that you don't like being sober. I can very much relate to that. My self-worth was so low that I couldn't bear the thought of being sober and being completely aware of who I was. Of course, the more I drank, the lower my self-esteem went. Honestly, it's an endless cycle and it can seem hopeless. But, we are not stronger than you are. You can do this, IF you want it. And, it sounds to me like you really want to have a clear head and to live a peaceful life.
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Old 06-12-2011, 05:11 PM
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Dee, thank you so much for affirming that alcohol is a substitute for pot. I sort of realised it before but wasn't willing to accept myself that it really was, but I guess it is. For me, it's just a problem of realising that it's not the desire of pot that made me scontinue it, but the desire to simply not be sober. I rationalized that it was the pot addiction that kept me smoking, but in fact it was the addiction to 'not wanting to be sober in life'. I need to find something that I truly enjoy when being sober, so I won't take these easy escapes and cave myself in on useless pursuits. Life is amazing, it's short yes, but it can be filled with meaningful activities and surrounded by loving people. I want to leave this superficial approach to life and really get to grips with what it means to be happy and human. Thanks for giving me this realisation Dee. I hope we can discuss this further.
Well it was a substitute for me, and it does sound like it might be for you too.

Looking back now I realise I wasn't really prepared to live sober when I gave up pot - I just switched to something else that gave me that 'escape'.

I thought my problem was pot, then booze, but the problem was actually me and my inability to face life without an 'escape pod'.

Eventually I found I could actually cope with life 'straight' and cope pretty darn well...but I needed to confront my fear about that first, and lose my crutches

D
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Old 06-12-2011, 05:39 PM
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Thanks for your comments everyone, my sobriety starts tomorrow. I will keep you posted and respond to all the helpful people in the post tomorrow. Must sleep now. Thanks everyone. I feel like I've found the perfect recovery family

Yes, I may have a problem :P Up in 4 hours :/



<3
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Old 06-12-2011, 07:01 PM
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It really comes down to you if you have a problem. If you feel like you do or your question yourself then you do have a problem.
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Old 06-12-2011, 09:14 PM
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Welcome CMC - congratulations on your decision to seek a better life. By dealing with the alcohol issue now, you'll be saving yourself from a life of heartache and health problems.

I couldn't imagine being sober for 3 days, much less 30..... I had to take it one day at a time and just get through that day (hour by hour at first). This forum really helped because my addictive side kept coming up with all kinds of justification why I needed that drink and why it was too hard to stay sober.

Keep reading and posting - it gets better!:ghug3
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Old 06-12-2011, 11:33 PM
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welcome to our recovery community...

I want to share a link with you...hope you find it useful...

Alcohol Chemistry and You

I know my brain cleared up after I quit drinking.....I simply considered it finally got un saturaded ..and did not dwell on the past.

All my best as you move into your healthier sober future
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Old 06-13-2011, 12:14 AM
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Welcome to SR!

Do you think you might take a break from alcohol for a period of say 6 months? It might give you some perspective on where you are in relation to alcohol.

Life is so much better sober...I hope you give it a try
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