resumebreakdown

Hello. All I said was that it is not unusual for a spouse that does not drink to "keep tabs" on the spouse that does. My wife used to do that all the time when I drank.

I have a family, four kids, a wife who never drinks, so I understand this situation somewhat. She would kill me if I went to meetings every single day and neglected the kids. She did not want to go to Al-Anon, and I can understand that somewhat. She had to put up with my drinking for so long, why should she have to now take time away from the family? She never drank in her life.

I go to one meeting a week, and I tell those I sponsor that they should be there on the day I go, and that they can of course go to others in addition to that one. My wife lets me have people over to study the BB at our house, but I don't make it a party. It is a quiet, intense study session.

I think the sponsor should be more like a tutor. When I sponsor people, I walk them through the first 164 pages and the 12 Steps, but I make sure to tell them that I won't be a babysitter. I tell them I will walk them through the book and the steps, but that if they want a babysitter, they have to find another sponsor.

I already have my own kids to babysit. :-)

Anyway, yes, I am a real alcoholic. For several years I was drinking all day every day, and somehow, remarkably, my wife did not leave me. I haven't drank in over ten years now.

That said, the Big Book states very clearly that alcoholic is a self diagnosis, and that no one can make it for you.