Wow this is certainly a most strange situation you are finding yourself in! How long have you two been married? My initial thought is have you met these "brothers?" And do you do marriage counseling or is it just hubby that's seeing a counselor? Alcoholism or not you have a family problem and it won't get solved unless both of you are active in helping the relationship get better.
I'm assuming that he is using your "lack of understanding" as an excuse to pull away from the relationship with you and you are just angry with him for not being part of the relationship and putting these strangers before your family???
There doesn't need to be an affair for a marriage to end. Any relationship that sucks the life out of the marriage can ruin it. That seems to be happening here. You can't deny that there is a problem whether you think it's all in his mind or AA is sucking him in. Bottom line is your marriage is in trouble and you are going to have to get yourself some counseling too and then get some marriage counseling to figure out what the heck is going on.
I'm sorry you are having a hard time.
