Thank you for your input Susan. I think you missed what I was saying. I was trying to put a lot into a post. My husband and I have had a wonderful marriage. He feels that way too. He just wants me to accept what he is saying without question, which is totally at odds with the person he used to be. I am not in denial about his drinking or our relationship. His job requires random drug and alchohol screenings which he would not have passed had he been drinking as much as he says he was. I'm sure he could have hidden excessive drinking from me, but not the tests. He might have been drinking more than he used to, but he was doingit for a reason. He has several brothers and they are all going through an emotionally hard time in the last few years. All are happily married, but we wives are asking questions now about their father and the abuse in the home. My husband absolutely refuses to talk about his father. No mention of him occurs at family gatherings, of which there are many. As odd as it sounds, I think it is easier for him to be an alchoholic than it is to face his feelings about his father. Our counselor feels he may not be ready. The problem is that he is focusing so much on AA that he is not addressing the problems that led him there and since I am pushingfor him to address his problems I have become the enemy.