Clear signs that he is not changing. He continues to spew self centered bs, he is more concerned with not being micro managed than being 100% transparent (I recently took over our finances so now he knows it is much more difficult for him to hide his drinking/smoking and the money he spends on it), because he is not ready to be transparent in his actions it tells me he is not ready to try to build any kind of trust back into our relationship. He continues to blame shift instead of taking responsibility for his actions, he continues to play a victim role without the willingness to take action to make things better. There are no amends, no thoughts of how everyone else around him is being affected by his behavior. He is much more interested in yelling and cussing than to sit down and be a rational adult to talk about our problems and how we can come together to resolve them.
These are his clear signs to me that I need to start planning for the future to gain my financial security back, and make the changes I need to find peace and serenity.
BobbyJ thank you for sharing that. I would say my AH is between RR and recovery but leaning more towards the RR. He has admitted for about 8 years he is an A. He has been going to AA off and on for years. I would say twice he really dove in and was on his way to recovery. He had sobriety for months each time and his attitude and behavior reflected that of someone who was working his steps and wanting a better life. He started drinking again because he thought he could handle it. This time I think his illness has progressed to the point where perhaps he is finding it all much more difficult. I honestly do not think he wants to stop but is feeling the consequences of not doing so, meaning I'm done and I have really pulled away from him.