Yes, it's normal to feel that way. That's why it is likened to riding a roller coaster. You have your ups and your downs. When you have finally had enough, you will know and you will do whatever is necessary to get off that ride.
In the meantime, are you attending al-anon meetings? They can be a tremendous help in learning how to keep your serenity and well-being from being affected by whatever your husband does or doesn't do.