TD...
I agree, you set a very good boundary for yourself. The little lies all add up...and over time one just gets sick of hearing them. Good for you for sticking with it.
I have found that over time, setting boundaries with my addict/alcoholic brother has changed things. He no longer asks me for money or help. Now he calls just to tell me how he is doing and to vent. And I listen.
I hope in time for you and your wife that you can expierence some positive changes...