Good job on those seventeen days! I am glad I read your post and the others' replies. I made a deal with myself that I would only drink once a week. That way I would not have the "never again" anxiety. Not only could I not keep that promise to myself, I made myself dangerously sick a few times. I have only recently told myself that I probably shouldn't have a drink again. But I can't think about forever. I am only on day two and that is hard enough. But finishing this day sober actually feels better than finishing the day wasted. I feel like maybe, just maybe, I can do something about my problems rather than getting numb. You sound like you are doing so good. You ought to be very proud of yourself. Stay on that horse!