(((Duke))) - welcome to SR! I'm a recovering crack addict, and the thought of NEVER smoking it again, was more than overwhelming in the beginning. I got through the first few days/weeks with "okay, I won't do it today", sometimes "okay, I won't do it in the next hour" and repeated that when an hour was up.
At some point, I decided to give this recovery thing a shot...really work it, for 6 months. If I was still miserable, still wanting crack, well, it's everywhere. By the time 6 months had passed, I no longer wanted to go back to that life.
That's not to say I didn't still have times when I struggled, because I did. I read here, all the time and it wasn't even until I had the 6 months that I actually logged on. I know I had some "fun times" when I was using, but I also had a bad relapse that took me lower than I'd ever been, and that was pretty bad. When my mind would go to "look what you're missing" I'd just remind myself of the bad stuff. After all, if it was so great and didn't cause me any problems, why on earth would I be trying to quit?
I've learned to be grateful for every clean day. I don't have to go through the shame, remorse, self-hatred I felt whenever I used. I don't have to worry about finding a lower bottom, doing things that cause more consequences (have enough of those, already, thank you very much).
To this day, though I'm confident in my recovery, rarely think about crack, I still take things one day at a time.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy