Don't think, I can never drink again, just tell yourself I'm not going to drink today. One day at a time. When I have the thought of I can can never drink again, I'm inself pitty and have to snap out of that "stinking thinking" and ask myself what am I falling behind on in my program? Am I isolating, not going to meetings, worring about what someone else is doing?? ect... If you aren't going to AA meetings regularly, start. Once you begin to work the steps and develop some friendships that are understanding from going through the same thing, things will get better. Your story is very much like mine and I have to take it one day at a time and reach out to friends in the fellowship everyday. Wheter I'm doing good or bad. I tend to do good when I'm active in my recovery daily. Best of luck and awesome job on the 17 DAYS!!! Thank you for sharing too.