I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this! It sounds like she is doing the bare minimum of what you told her. So, raise the bar, as soon as she is not hungover. I told my son that he couldn't smoke pot in the house. So when I went to get his brother's Scout shirt, and found a bong, I smashed it, and we had several long emotional conversations. At 17, he went to go live with his pot-smoking dad. Decisions about drug use lead to family consequences, not just individual consequences.
AlAnon will help you; it takes time. Be gentle with yourself and loving and firm with your daughter.
- Sylvie