I think I hear what you are saying with your "aha moment" post.
You've suddenly realized how much of an impact your anger issues have affected your wife. You are taking responsibility for that and have committed to making a real effort toward change. That's just awesome!....but totally beside the point at this time. At THIS time, it doesn't matter what has 'caused' her to drink and do cocaine. The PRESENT FACT is that your wife is an alcoholic and a drug addict....NOW. [BTW, did you know that alcohol and cocaine is one of the deadliest drug combinations possible?] You can claim all the responsibility you want, but it doesn't change the facts that you, as a more-highly-functioning parent have a legal and moral responsibility to care for your child which means at least separating until she gets her sh** together.