Shell, the anger you are feeling towards your AW is normal and I am willing to bet all of us here are struggling with that. I know I am.
When standing in front of me, struggling with alcohol, how can my wife get any support she needs from me when I'm as angry and destructive as I am?
To me, this is your codie talking. You are not responsible for her drinking and you are not responsible for her recovery. It took me 13 years of living with an AW to realize that. She is in rehab (again) and I still moved out. I did it for me because I could not recover while being around her. Even when she is not drinking or abusing prescriptions I found that my anger with her was just below the surface. I moved out because it was a toxic environment for me and I would never recover while I still lived with her.
Focus on yourself and your son. Let go and let god.
Take care of yourself bro.
BTW, I have been training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for the last year. It is a great way to relieve a lot of the anger. You said you used to be a fighter well maybe its time to start doing something like that again as part of your recovery.