Shellcrusher....
You need to go easy on yourself right now. Your emotions are going to be the wildest roller coaster ride you have EVER been on! There's the ups ("That's it! I'm done! Let's get this $hit done!!!!) and the downs ("OMG! What have I done!!! I can't do this! This is destroying us! I need to give him/her another shot!")... and everything in between.
Read my posts... I swear when I go back and look at them from March/April... I can FEEL the highs and lows. It is HARD, really really freakin' hard... and so I've learned to ride out the highs and lows. Don't make any decisions until the extreme emotions settle down.
The thing that has helped me is to not make my decisions based on other people's feelings or opinions (unless "they" are people from Al-anon or SR). My family and friends, and AH's family & friends all have vested interest in our success/failure... and because of that, they aren't a reliable source of input, so to speak.
You have very good, FACTUAL reasons for moving forward with a divorce. So you're having a batch of doubt right now... that's OKAY. It's just a phase, ride it out. Don't change your course, or make any decisions. Let your foot up off the gas, and coast for a little while. Sit and observe, and more WILL be revealed.
I'm right there with you... the whole input from the neighbor has stirred up AH, and has brought out some good behavior... talk about tempting the codie in me, eh?!?! So, I'm sitting back, and observing. Not making any decisions, or changing course... divorce process is still chugging along... but I'm not "hammering" down on it like I was a week or so ago. Giving myself a breather to feel and watch.