Glad you're moving forward. These moments of clarity, painful as they can be, are often blessings in disguise. The fears and doubts get pushed aside and you've got MOMENTUM.
I think I know what BHF means--you don't have a war for the sake of a war. You're aware of that. You are doing what you need to do right now. You aren't out to destroy her, just to neutralize her havoc she seems bent on wreaking, protect yourself, protect your son.