Hey everyone. No I totally understand where you ALL are coming from about not buying him the phone card. Well at this point, it's irrelevant because he doesn't need one, I guess his calls are free. As far as just not talking to him at all I really don't think I could do that just for my own self because even though he is in this situation, he is the only person that I really have to talk to. :\ I think I just have to work on being more independent or something, sometimes I get so mad at myself.
As for WIC - I already recieve WIC and food stamps and energy assistance (which isnt needed now that its springtime). So I get all the financial help I can get. His dad also mailed me a check today to help out a bit.
I spoke with Ben last night and he sounded MISERABLE. I dont know if its the withdrawing or what. He already is doubting himself and wanting to come home. He is not focusing like I thought he would be and it worries me. I am not worried for HIM or feel bad for HIM but it just sucks that he may be wasting all of this time trying to "get help" when in reality hes just sitting in there whining and moping.
I have gotten myself to a place today where I am more pissed off than anything. If he calls tonight or tomorrow (whenever) - I seriously am going to be like "Listen here motherfxr..." (LMAO!) either your gonna stop whining about being there and feeling sorry for yourself (like most addicts do) or your gonna get the help that you need and do it positively... and if you DONT want to be there, then leave, but when you get home - pack your ****!" - - - This is my mood right now. This is what I want to tell him. LOL instead of worrying about him I am just gonna tell him how it should be.