this reminds me of how i was trying to break down "love" one day in my head... and came up with three characteristics... love makes you feel:
1) supported
2) valued
3) protected
i couldn't think of anything else--i took the example of love from what we learn from parental love.
anyway, what i realized was with my xAbf--the only one of those three that i EVER felt from him was that, without a doubt, i felt safe. i may have felt all three in the beginning, but feeling supported or valued left faster than i realized what those even meant in a relationship! with addicts, they are possessive over things, and maybe that's why the only way they know how to show love is through having us feel protected... any thoughts?
as stated above, don't beat yourself up for missing him. you ARE a person... you aren't sick... you were a person in a meaningful relationship with someone that you built a connection with--that's completely natural and HEALTHY to miss them once in a while. at least you know you're not a robot
