Shell- What a terrible few days you've had. I am like you-- not a prayer-- and I was moved reading your post and realizing that that's all there is to do... Guess I need to re-think handing power over to my own HP.
One thing: I read your post and when I think about you being gone for a brief 30 min and what you W did in that time it worries me something sick for your DS. I know you are trying to take your time and it seems smart to do that, BUT I do worry about what your wife could potentially do, under the influence of both drugs and alcohol... especially if she senses you pulling away. There are too many horror stories of things parents do to kids to get back at a spouse and I just worry and I felt I'd be remiss if I didn't say that.
I don't mean to add to your stress and I am sorry if I upset you with what I said... I have a D your sons age (a bit older) and kids being in the mix really hits me hard... (and to be clear, I am no saintly parent-- I stayed with my AH waaaay too long and my D's were exposed to way too much and put in dangerous situations-- so please don't think I am preaching from a pedastal- hardly!)